Soliloquy
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "...it was as if he could smell her fear. As if it was becoming more obvious with every breath of stale air he took that she was terrified of him..." Set during Committed.
1. Chapter 1

I'm not sure how to explain this- it's an exploration of when Sara was trapped in the nurse's office during 'Committed'.

It's going to be a two-shot, the first being Sara's perspective the latter being Adam's.

Please let me know what you think and review.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**Soliloquy **

The air in the room seemed to still, the tension lingering in the atmosphere like a cloud of smoke. There was a sense of humidity and the occasional wisp of the cold air conditioning over her skin gave her goose bumps. His eyes watched her with a steady gaze and it was as if he was seeing through her- into her- bringing to light her fears in their most honest form.

Sara's breathing fluttered unevenly in her chest as she attempted to form words but the sentences simply just tied up like knots on her tongue. Even if she had managed to say anything she wondered if it would have deterred him- made him disappear into nothingness. She imagined the sobs and screams of his victims as that same gaze had cast burns on their skin. Her hands trembled slightly and it was as if he could smell her fear. As if it was becoming more obvious with every breath of stale air he took that she was terrified of him- of what he could do and the things that he had done.

The clinical smell of her current environment overwhelmed Sara as she kept her attention focused on Adam as he slowly crept towards her. His expression seemed to be blank- the blue of his eyes clear of everything including emotion- but the small smirk that played on his lips spoke a thousand words. He was enjoying watching her squirm- that much was obvious- Sara took short breaths hoping to regain control.

"_Are you a spiritual person?" _

His question seemed to be asking so much more than the words themselves. He wanted to know her- her weaknesses- her beliefs- her hopes. They were all of the things that he could shatter with actions that seemed to come naturally to him.

Every muscle in her body tightened as she attempted to keep in control of her panic- not wanting to let him see vulnerability. Not wanting to let him see her as prey- like an object, a toy, he could break and abate. But she realised that it was too late. From the moment they had first encountered each other- he had seen her as less than a person- as an opportunity.

"_Do you think everything happens for a reason- that bad things are there to teach us a karmic lesson?" _

His eyes seemed to gleam in the light at the mention of disasters- the sorts of things that tore people apart- leaving them hollow shells of who they really were. The sorts of things he did to women- the thought itself caused bile to make the steady incline up Sara's throat.

She attempted to focus on the things he was saying while at the same time attempting to remove the cap on the injection in her hand. With every step he took towards her it was as if her body had received a jolt of electricity.

From the moment he had entered the grim office she had known that no matter what she would fight back- that she would not be passive to his aggression, to his sickening fantasises. She would not let herself become a victim; not again.

The events of her past had weighed heavy on her from the moment she had entered the building. The smell of the surfaces, the blank, exhausted expressions of the people and the sounds of people succumbing to the demons they all had previously hidden inside.

The experience had made her wonder if she was any different.

If she could claim that she had sanity on her side when her body woke with a numbing sense of depression that she could not shake. Sara had thought of the pills that were supposed to keep her 'balanced' and therapists she had spoken to as she spoke to the onsite psychiatrist.

How was that different?

Sara launched at Adam the needle glinting in the light making its intended journey to the flesh of his neck. It was the sound of it clattering to the floor that seemed to bring her back to reality as she realised she'd lost her only weapon. She was at now bending at Adam's whim- at the mercy of his decisions, wants and desires.

Adam's fingers encircled her wrist in a vice like grip, twisting her arm slightly before dragging the unwilling woman towards him. His touch seemed to scale her skin but as Sara fought back he simply just held her tighter enjoying the feeling of her struggling against him.

His arms possessively wrapped around her shoulders as Sara realised that she was no longer in control- that he had engineered this for her to never have a chance at control. Her heart painfully beat against her rib cage as she attempted to breathe. The feeling of Adam's teeth grazing her ear as he spoke made her chest constrict.

"_...and everything would be fine- right?" _

There was a hint of mockery in his voice- the knowledge that things could never be 'fine'. That life was not something that could be fixed- that the bad would always be lingering around the corner a taunting shadow of good.

Adam's grip tightened on her so their bodies were pressed together even closer- as if he wanted to feel her panic. Sara began to fight back but the feeling of the sharp clay edge digging into the sensitive skin of her neck limited her struggling.

The sound of his breathing in her ear and the feeling of his hot breath hitting her cheek made her skin crawl. He was surrounding her- and it was like being submerged in the murky waters of Lake Mead.

"_Do you think I'm smart...do you think I'm right?" _

He muttered with desperation into her ear, the words seemed to be sinking into her skin, disappearing into her system. As she attempted to slow her bodies 'fight or flight' response to the situation she had found herself in- she tried to stop herself from falling apart.

She wasn't going to cry.

She wasn't going to let her mind linger on the things that were probably running through his head or the way she slowly felt as if she was being suffocated. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to her- under her skin.

She kept her concentration focused on one thing- surviving.

Sara couldn't stop letting her mind wander to the last time she had been dragged grudgingly to this type of precarious position. Her breathing became ragged as she attempted to push those memories out of the forefront of her mind.

Everything she did seemed to be shadowed by her recollections of the past.

It was the sight of Grissom that changed everything- the atmosphere becoming polluted. His eyes watched with fear- he seemed to be silently wishing for Adam to let her go.

"_Don't you move a muscle- I will grind you- you bitch." _

He growled the anger- the aggression- the things that had him locked up in a place like this seemed to be oozing from every one of his pores filling the small space like air. Sara kept her eyes on the ground hoping that he would realise that there was no way out.

And that he would just let her go because she wasn't ready to be a victim again.

She wasn't going to be desecrated.

She wasn't going to be broken.


	2. Chapter 2

Please review- whether you like it or not- I'd really appreciate some feedback.

This is more 'M' than the previous part- I may change the rating of the whole piece.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**Soliloquy **

A strange taste lingered in his mouth, as he swallowed the lump that was building up in his throat. It was a heavy, metallic tang he recognised. Lust. It swirled against his teeth and taste buds, sinking slowly down his throat, into his blood stream. It had been persistent since he'd first seen her. She'd stood over him, her eyes preoccupied with the motion of her hand as she scribbled on box before she finally leant in to swab his cheek.

He couldn't help but smirk. She would have been perfect- were they not confined in a locked down building, were they not surrounded by people. There was a strange type of sadness concealed in her dark eyes- something he could have exploited had he had the time. He could have drawn out all of the angst that shadowed her life- he could have made it escape past her lips in a whimper as he controlled her and broke her.

Adam had seen the fear that she was capable of when she had almost been bitten. Her breath had caught in her chest- and her pupils had dilated with panic. He wondered what he would have to do to get that same response from her. He wondered what he could to say get under her skin.

She had barely noticed him but he had been watching her. He had been examining her as if she were a specimen; the same way in which the doctors in this place analyzed him.

His eyes studied her form as she stood before him now- she was facing away from him, hunched over something, her black hair falling in her face. He imagined the pale plains of her back- the soft skin running like silk beneath his finger tips- from her shoulders to the curve of her spine. The thought itself prompting him into action, Adam slowly closed the door behind him, knowing that it would self lock giving them a little time- a small barrier from the rest of the world.

She had preoccupied his mind all day- it was almost as if he could forget everything else. All of the other parts of his life just melted down into bare ashes as he thought about her- when he imagined. He could almost hear her screams, her cries when she begged him to stop and she promised not to tell anyone as he pinned her wrists down against the ground- as he made her into what he wanted her to be.

"_Hey" _

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice- a shiver evidently running through her body as they locked eyes. In his mind she would have looked away; she would have attempted to ignore how his gaze slowly stripped her of more than her clothes. But she faced him- watched him cautiously.

She's been hurt before- her eyes told many stories he thought with a small sense of sadness. It disappeared quickly once he realised that she was a challenge, that she was different to the others, they had all believed that he would let them go. But she knew. She knew what he was capable of, what he wanted to do and she had no faith in the good that was supposedly inside of him.

The power he felt from that alone was like a drug controlling him pitilessly.

The dread that seemed to be painted on her expression was like ink on paper- fixed. It was abiding. There was an exhausted knowledge in the way she attempted to ready herself to what was coming next. As she attempted to prepare herself to fight him, to not let herself be victimized- not again.

The idea forcing his blood to boil with fervour as he took slow steps towards her; knowing that she was anticipating the same thing as him. He imagined her fighting back as he forced himself on her- the look of desperation when she realised there was nothing she could do.

The look in her eyes when he finally broke her.

When he took the one thing that she could call her own- her dignity.

She wouldn't be able to deny his fingerprints etched into her skin when she looked in the mirror. She wouldn't be able to hide from the look in his eyes- one that she had memorised- as he violated her. He would taunt her even in her sleep, presenting himself in her nightmares.

She would be his.

In that way she was just like all of those other women. They had been scared of him- but they had answered his provocative questions- baring their souls to him- displaying the cracks, and chips that made them the perfect damaged human beings they were. With each encounter he would see how they would become more comfortable with him- almost trusting him.

He would remember how he took that all away.

The heat rose under his skin as he imagined taking everything away from her. He was hungry for her- for her trepidation, her terror. He wanted to bring to light all of the things that had damaged her before- he wanted her to acknowledge that they had built her, shaped her, destroyed her.

She nervously answered his questions like the others did and it was as if she was hoping that there was a right answer- that he would reward her by walking away.

Adam acknowledged that she couldn't see the need he felt when he looked at her- the pure, unadulterated longing he had to make her his, to dominate her. He thought of her long legs bare of material, struggling beneath him as she did what she could to stop him.

He thought of what it would feel like to finally take her- all of her.

Just the notion itself almost made him groan.

As he had predicted she fought back- but he made easy work of getting her in the position he wanted her in. His body was pressed against hers. He could hear her heart beat, feel her shiver and the heat radiating from her skin.

The growls and grunts of effort that escaped her lips as she struggled were like a shock to his system making his blood coursed through his veins. In that moment it all became it real- she had become real. All of those things he had been thinking no longer had to remain like ghosts in his mind haunting him- taunting him.

She was vulnerable. She was weak. She was his.

Her musky scent was overpowering- unique- fomenting a reaction from him he could barely recognise. His arousal was pressed against her back- pulsating unbearably with the desire to make contact with her skin. He needed her. This was him- it was the real him- it was what had he had been craving and it was what he had been hiding.

Adam could see the perspiration gleam on her pale skin in the artificial light, he could see the tears she was blinking away; he could feel the ragged breaths she was taking shaking in his grip. He wanted to touch her, to let his hand slide the few inches lower to touch her breast- to go further and feel the most intimate parts of her. To display her to him as if she were a piece of art created for him and him only.

Make her whimper. Make her beg.

He would possess her.


End file.
